I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
