some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
