I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
