Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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