He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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