This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
