She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
