just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
