i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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