i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
