Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
