Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
