Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
