Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
