There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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