I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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