How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
