She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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