white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
