i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
