I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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