also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
