there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
