I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Found the puke drawer
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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