D3 body, D1 cock
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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