it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
