This house was built for laser tag.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
