I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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