What a fucking waste of an outfit
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
