Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
