what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
