i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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