Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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