So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
