come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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