I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize