Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
