Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ladies don't puke and tell
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
