Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
