I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
