Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
