So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
