I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
