Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
