i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
