420 ftw
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
