I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
