belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
