You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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