How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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